In a surprising move, Microsoft called for a press conference today announced that it will rename it’s Surface tablet device to Microsoft Tomb. “Surface is a heck of a product, and people are loving it”, said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, “but we want to give it a name that resonates better with our customers”, he added.
As part of the rebranding effort, the new tomb will cost 200 dollars more, starting at $699 and will now include the stand as a standard add-on. “A slab like structure standing on the free stand will make it a perfect miniature tombstone, thus maintaining the purity of our new branding” , said Panos Panay, the designer of Surface. “We have even gone out of the way to finely adjust the standing angle to fit the tomb concept”, Panos further added while talking to a auditorium full of reporters. The new Tomb will also be slightly heavier. “Yeah, heavier and pricier, that’s what our customers want, that’s what a premium product is about”, added Steve Ballmer while cutting off Panos. “See it’s not much different from a PC, our mission is to have a Tomb on every table”. The new Tomb will have battery life of good 4 hours.
We reached out to Steve Sinofsky, the recently departed head of Windows division for comments. “This did come up in our discussions and I said – over my dead body”, said Steve Sinofsky from his new Aspen home in Colorado. “I mean there were so many other cool generic all-encompassing names in our list such as Thing, Device, Mask, Smooth, Matter. See I had a simple strategy – design a generic OS that’d work on your PC, on your laptop and on mobile. We put a mobile OS on desktops, and err..I guess we shouldn’t have then put RT on mobile..well never mind”.
Google’s CEO Eric Schmidt’s said “Well we’d love some competition. They should have learnt from the success of Android – just do what Apple does. Ha, so much for the tile interface.”. We reached out to some youngsters to get their comment on this development. “Surface..is it like a countertop or something..I guess I am cool if they call it Tomb”, said Mary Williams an undergrad student in Columbia. “Yeah man I like it..it kind of makes sense..just take all the tiles out and stack them up, then you have a tomb and we get our Win7 interface back”, said a computer science graduate student in Cornell.
“Yes I discussed this with Steve”, said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates. “This was Steve’s idea – he initially wanted to use the name for the entire company, but I thought we should take small steps at a time and start with a product. In time we will reach there”.