With the Iraq occupation drying up resources, the police force is now forced to cut budgets and send more and more of it’s members to Iraq. Milwaukee alone has experienced a 36% increase in crime rate. In a desparate attempt to control crime, the mayor of Milwaukee Kathy Drumbell approaches S Ramdaroga, CEO of Toota Consultancy Services, India’s top outsourcing services outfit:
“Hello Madam, what can I do for you”
“Ramdaroga, Humare state mein dunga fusaad bahut badh gaya hai, humein aapki madad chahiye”
“Parwah Illah Madam, We have highly qualified candidates from prestigious Indian School of Security Servicess - ISSS”
“ISSS? Humne toh yeh naam kabhi suna nahin”
“Err..Don’t worry madam, our people are very well trained and our services are CMM 555 and ISO 420 certified!”
“Bahut acha, Bahut acha, How much is it going to cost?”
“We are very cheap madam, 100 dollars per man hour”
“100 dollars! you kidding me? Hum log to gareeb hain, itney paise nahin dey saktey”
“Okay Okay, 50 dollars a dozen”
“Done”
Venkateswara Murugan is on his first assignment as Assistant Speed Analyst on I-90 in a white Ford Crown Victoria equipped with the latest electronic police gadgets, talking to Amma using the satellite phone.
“Hello Amma, me Ventateswara amma, how are you, are you able to hear me?”
“Yello, Ventkataswara, entiappa, i am able to hear you loud and clear. How are you, how is your new job?”
“Excellent Amma, talking from free phone amma, client has also given me big free car amma - twice the size of ambassador”
“Are you eating well?”
“Yes amma, today Janaki packed me some idli and kondipoddy, and I am drinking some homemade filter coffee rignt now!”
Just then a speeding black Mercedes with steel rims zooms past and makes the radar go crazy.
“One minute Amma…Aiyyo, I just got my driving license in the 4th attempt..I haven’t even seen Niagara falls yet..and if I don’t go for it, they will send me back”
So he pulls himself together and presses on the gas pedal with all his might. His car wriggles like a snake everytime he changes lanes, but, He manages to catch up with the unsuspecting Mercedes which pulls over. Mr Venkat brakes and falls an inch short of hitting the Mercedes. He comes out wiping the sweat on the back of his neck and feeling proud of himself.
“Sir, I think..like..you are like..I mean, basically speeding”
“Yo..check this out man..”, says the driver looking back to his passengers. “Whass going on man? You out of your mind? Take that blue light off your cab Indian”
“No sir, you don’t understand, I am like..you know..”
“So you’re what..mobile seven eleven?”
“I am Officer Venkat sir, can I take a look at your goggles, Sir”
“No kidding man, show me your badge first”
“Here..”
“This is serious man, here you go”
“Ray-ban! What’s it worth?”
“don’t know, some 200 dollars”
“hey hey..200 dollars..that’s 8000 rupees..can I have it?”
“sure keep it man..whatever..we have some grass too..want some?”
“No sir, In our country only cows eat grass..Thank You..come again”
